We are born innocent children and come into the world with a blank slate. All we want to do is have food, sleep, emotional nourishment, fun, and be entertained. Easy.
Anyone can feed a baby, and give food to a child but what if they refuse? Start throwing toys? Crying for more attention than the energy levels you have available? We start to place meaning to these things.
Early childhood is a time when we start to fathom our place in the world and make sense of the people around us and how they respond to us.
Our internal beliefs are formed by the age of 6 maybe even earlier and many unconsciously play out today, when dealing with family, friends work colleagues or own children.
Most people pass off a child’s behaviour or put sleepless nights down to being ‘normal’ for a child but what if those childhood habits and need for attention or being ‘right’ all the time live with us into adulthood without another thought?
Sleepless nights cloud our judgment, inhibit joy, and impact long-term mental health, increasing anxiety and depression. Working as a stay at home mum or working in a professional job and being woken in the night is an endurance test. Some don’t mind. Some dread the day ahead. Others, I call them martyrs love to brag about how they get up in the night and carry on regardless or believe and accept it’s part of the motherhood journey. Of course it is in the early days, it is, a new baby needs feeding throughout the night and is constantly feeding and rapidly growing.
As your baby grows, their naps lengthen and need for food stretches out and includes solids. A healthy baby who’s eating well and a healthy weight can sleep through the night for 11-12 hours. This is easy to overcome with a plan once your baby 6 months or older. It doesn’t have to be left to chance or involve crying it out or controlled crying.
One of the thing that stops most children sleeping is what’s going on in the environment. This is rarely mentioned, you are led to believe it’s all about the routine, day naps or how gently you settle your child.
As babies and small children, we take on our parent’s beliefs, worries and fears and often makeup stories. Worse than that, we believe them for years, and even pass them on to the next generation! ‘Don’t worry they’ll grow out of it’ but ‘will they’ and ‘when?’
Perhaps your anxiety is affecting your sleep and enjoyment of your child, is it making you question your abilities of being a good enough mother?
I help clients see what’s really going on, give them a new perspective and help you bring back the joy for you and your family.
For more information about my Gentle Sleep Solutions and Family life coaching book a call or email a question.