Having a family holiday can be a time of much joy and happiness, you see more of your child and notice all the little advances they’ve made with their speech, personal skills, thinking patterns and creativity. It is heart-warming to hear a child spontaneously say, I love you mummy or Daddy as they are playing or eating a favourite food. If only they were always this happy or I knew why they behaved badly at other times.
Children tend to respond positively or negatively to the environment and the people around them. We are there to guide and support them and it’s when a child is afraid or doesn’t understand something they have a wobble or complain. It’s the only way they can express themselves until they are taught another way. We are their most valued educators, teachers and all round ‘go to’ person for love and support.
Most children will misbehave or act up if things are out of balance in their world, they need advance warnings. Sometimes it is because our expectations are too high or too low. So how do you get things back in flow and fun again?
You give them what they want, within reason. This can be quite simple. It is not about giving them everything they ask for, this can breed a child who wants and expects more and more from you. You become a people pleaser and a slave to your child, often unknowingly. I see parents who fall into this trap and then find themselves a few years down the track really not liking their child and finding their child’s behaviour so difficult to manage, they literally give their child anything they want.
Mistake. The child is likely to demand more and more and can become aggressive or uncontrollable.
Dads may respond differently to their child and be more lenient or less appeasing, either way the child’s behaviour persists and ultimately no one at home is happy. Being on holiday together is a good time to tackle your differences and start to work together on giving your child the lessons they need without things escalating beyond your comfort zone and leaving you constantly on edge or being permanently exhausted.
The fear that stops us from saying ‘no’ is us being our own worst enemy, the ripple effect being felt by those around us.
Although a baby can’t talk, they are highly receptive to the environment and those caring for them. As children grow they take on their parent’s worries and fears and make up stories. These stories need to be unpicked and explain our own behaviour. When we have more insight to how we influence those around us we can make positive changes, both mother and father.
No one is perfect but we all like to think our children and loved ones are. We hold the key and can’t expect a child to change unless we look at who we are being and how we are behaving because we are responsible for a child’s future and setting them up for success.
Early childhood is filled with so much for busy working parents, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s right and wrong, but your child’s behaviour will be a good indicator of how well you and your partner are doing and how in ‘flow’ life feels.
5 Child Behaviour Tips
- Give a warning, repeat if necessary
- Stop to pause for a few seconds
- Remind your child of what you expect from him/her
- Keep calm
- Be aware of your words
Still not making progress or want a professional view of your child’s behaviour because you’ve run out of idea’s? Why not book a 90 minute ‘Strategy Call’ or enquire about our personalised 121 Parent Coaching programmes.