I love this time of year, Christmas is exciting just like when a new baby is about to join your family. Everyone falls in love with him or her and tells you how wonderful you are, very soon though; you are left all day with a baby who also wakes up all night long too. Baby’s, like Christmas are an unknown quantity, you never know what you are going to get. You may know the sex but you will not know their personality, how they will feed, sleep or behave as they grow older.
It’s a daunting task for a new parent and may fill you with absolute wonder and others will be feeling scared and questioning what you have done. Once baby is here you have no choice, unlike the unwanted Christmas present you can take it back and swop if it does not meet your expectations, your baby of course is a different matter altogether.
In the first year a new baby will require clothes and lots of them as they grow fast. They’ll need a bed/cot to sleep in, a car seat, pram, sling if going out for walks or most likely shopping for yet another new item or pack of nappies, cream or lotion. This is before you’ve added in feeding, childcare costs and often a new home and in many cases, all this surviving on a single salary. It really is never ending. A new infant can rapidly deplete your savings but the rewards are immeasurable.
Your child soon becomes the most precious thing in the world, you are blinded by love and suddenly transform into a doting and very protective mother or father. Unbeknown to some, not all mothers love their child straight away. The same as not all toddlers or children love Father Christmas, some will literally freak out and scream when you introduce them to his big red costume and furry beard.
You see some children are way more sensitive than others. Little things can upset them and leave them clinging tightly on to you, even when you reassure them they are Ok and there is nothing to be scared of. To a baby or young child though, our world is a very scary place at times, even when you have mummy or daddy by your side. A loud noise or funny face may set the alarm bells off and the tears begin to roll down their cheeks.
Most days you can cope but for some mums, you have a harder time. Your baby won’t sleep or feed well, you feel lonely and scared yourself, often pretending that everything is fine when it is not. This is way more serious than being upset about the Christmas present you didn’t receive or were disappointed with, it’s much deeper than that. Some days you feel paralysed with fear or anxiety and worry about everything to do with your baby. Every action you take feels an effort and all you want to do is sleep, have a break for an hour or two but find yourself attached to your baby and unable to leave him or her with someone else. It’s your job and must be done, so you battle on and are reassured that things will get better as your child grows.
Feeding, sleeping, bathing, rocking, walking, burping it never ends, your baby always needs something and it’s easy to forget you and your own needs. If you could just find some help or trusted person to lift your spirits and take all your worries away, you could feel yourself again. Is it possible? Will you ever feel ‘normal again’ or will you be left unhappy for years to come because you kept your thoughts and feelings to yourself?
Our conditioning and early experience affect us more than most people can ever imagine or stop to think about. I have seen mums and their family suffer for years and years. Some never recover from this early care and what was going on for mum.
If you feel you would like to get some support to help you overcome everyday hurdles, somewhere to relax and enjoy coffee and cake and get your baby’s need met too, you may want to consider something special and purely for you, the ‘Calm, Confident New Mum Club’. I confess it’s not for everyone but if you are a proactive person, who would like to start the new year with a ‘bang’ and enjoy a brilliant start with your new baby, book a 15-minute call to find out more. Right now, you can receive this incredible gift by claiming your 50% off voucher, so perhaps the in-laws could treat you or your partner may feel it is his duty to make sure you are happy and feel supported whilst he’s at work!
We would love to make year one with your baby your best year yet. The ‘Calm, Confident Mum’ Club helps mums like you to avoid the struggle and ignore what others say. If interested, please consider registering for our club so you can find your own way, without judgement, fear or one up Manship. We won’t allow mums to do that, you’ll feel welcomed, safe and relaxed. We ensure you live well, learn to be nurtured, connected and feel confident as a mum in that immensely challenging first year.
Find out more here, quote the voucher code BF5018 before December 1st and receive a half price membership to help make your Christmas extra exciting, full of cheer and joy, as you feel prepared for a new year ahead with your new baby/twins.